Saturday, January 30

Rodrigo Silveira: The Official Blog

It's late. I'm sure I'll be reading this in a few weeks and I'll wonder if I should continue to bring work home and program until 3 in the morning. Maybe playing old NES games in my Wii, playing GTA3, watching 24, or just plain going to bed with my dear wife whenever she got tired and clocked out for the day would have been more productive.

Lately I've been thinking up of some really clever stuff... A lot of it has to do with turning clever programming into profitable endeavors, but a lot of it also has to do with improving existing projects and making things more efficient. One goal that I've had, though this specific goal's priority level, in my mind, was a low 2 or 3... This goal, as challenged by a fellow business partner, is to rank an uncontested number 1 in Google, Bing, and Yahoo! for my own name. Turns out that your mother wasn't all that creative when she chose your very unique name. If you do a Google Search for your own name, chances are there already are a few people with the same name. Yes, there are other Rodrigo Silveiras out there. I call them "the others." So my goal is to SEO a few pages here and there and outrank the others. I'm the only Rodrigo Silveira that can be on the web!

Anyhow, as I was working for the last few hours listening to some random music I had saved on an old CD I had burned when I was in High School, this song started playing that made my mind wander... I managed to complete the site I was working on then, but I replayed the song a few times. My mind is still wandering... Here's the song for those of you wondering what it was:

Usually I don't listen to this type of music, but as I hinted earlier, it's really late and I've been programming most of today. I think I've programmed close to 450 hours so far this year (last 30 days). That's actually something like 62% of the month (720 hours) spent programming.

Anyhow, so this song has always made me think of one of my best friends growing up. Usually there were different feelings that this song made me feel... But for some reason today it was different. I miss my friend. As a matter of fact, I miss all my friends from that period of my life. This friend that I always think about when I listen to this song..., he was the smart one in our group. He was probably the most talented of us all. He was good at everything. He always supported me in the things I attempted, and he'd take the time to teach me how to be better. During the first two years that I had moved to a different country, we managed to keep in touch somewhat. I wrote him a few times, but it wasn't until the 10th or 15th month that he responded to my first letter. Then one day there was a second letter from him. He seemed happy. He mentioned how his father, a man whom I had never met (as his parents were divorced since before we met) was about to be a father for the third time. His sister was doing good too, he mentioned, and he concluded saying that he missed me and wished me good luck. Less than two weeks later a different friend of mine emailed me saying this good friend of mine, the one that had written me the letters, had been murdered.

The story is still somewhat of a mystery to me as nobody has given me a lot of details and I haven't had the contacts to ask for any. But from what I've been told, he had been using some hardcore drugs pretty heavily. One day, as he went about to handle a situation with some people at around 2 or 3 in the morning, a car that had been parked (probably waiting for him) drove by and ran him over and drove away. Some lady that was near by saw him and called the ambulance, but the cocaine overdose kicked in, he started to seizure, and from there not even the medics were able to keep him with us. At his funeral all our friends signed a big flag of his favorite soccer team and laid it on top of his coffin, which they carried to his graveside while chanting this soccer team's main song. Apparently this was a sock to a lot more people than just me, as I wasn't the only know aware of his pain.

That is how loneliness can kill a man. At first nobody can really tell how much a man hurts. Each man's face expresses it differently. Each man's eyes see it differently, but when wet, they all feel the same. I think this is what makes the mystery and journey of life so special. Being able to remember something that is good, that once was real, and that now only exists internally. Being able to nourish and cultivate a reality that no longer matters, gaining strength from something as irrelevant and useless to our future as something that we will never be able to touch again, this, I believe, is the root of a good life.

Life is a great school. And I believe any great lesson is worth writing down. This is the purpose of my blog. And I think just as the universe would be a terrible waste of space if we were the only ones using it, so would these life's little lessons be if nobody knew about them. I know our lives can all be summarized in the same sentence, but as I take the time to relearn from mine as I write it down, why not do my best to expose my stories to as many people as will take the time to read them?! Thank you, SEO for making this possible...

Thank you for reading, and keep your head up. Because it doesn't matter where the sun goes during the night because when the morning comes, so does the sun. Life experiences are something worth treasuring.

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