Friday, December 5

Beauty is not in the inside | Hilarious Short Quotes

Funny Short Story

by Rodrigo Silveira

I'm sure you've heard it said that true beauty is in one's inside. To be honest with you, I myself have accepted that, but only because it felt like a way to justify for what I had on the outside, between the top of my head and the bottom of my neck... But I've come to realize that to all of the funny-looking people out there, if you have little or nothing in the outside, the honest reality is that our inside looks fairly disturbing. The inside of a human body is undoubtedly a very unique thing to stare at, but don't be fooled thinking that there is any attraction to be felt by seeing things are they really, really are.

Today I was given the best Christmas present I've ever been given in the last 23 visits of Mr. and Mrs. Santa Claus. This year they came early for reasons revealed to me, and I am very glad they did. My lovely young fiancee took me to Body Worlds here in Salt Lake City, and for a little under an hour we got to see the human body from more points of view than you would believe. For a family-oriented exposition, I was surprised to realize how many pipis were displayed for a mere $20... I did make a note to myself that most of the people looking at the lifeless male organ and giggling were females in their late days. Maybe the reason they thought that was such a humorous and amuzing thing to look at was because they must have felt like pretty soon they would be the ones being displayed inside the glass boxes, and innevitebly some punk stranger would point and laugh like they did.

Anyways, the first thing I saw was a surprisingly large sign that said there were NO PICTURES ALLOWED. And of course, like a nice, obedient South American, I had to throw it down with my Samsung 737 and snap a few shots of the artistic nudity:

Pretty sick, huh?! I didn't think I'd enjoy this expo quite as much as I did. One of the cool things was that there was this subtle, yet deep continuous sound of a heart beating going on in the hidden speakers in there. Then I read this thing by some athlete's heart, saying that the average human heart (adult) is about the size of the individual's fist, and weighs some 10oz. On average, it pumps 3oz of blood through the body each time it beats, which at an average of 70 beats per minute during rest, adds up to 165 billion contractions per a 75 year lifetime. They had a room with 32 barrels that represented 1.2 million gallons of blood, which was a representation of how much blood is pumped through our heart each day. Pretty useful information, specially for those of you out there with a dual personality like Mr. Durten...

So yeah, America, this is it for tonight. I thought I'd post this because I'd wanted to go to Body Worlds for a little while now. All of the bodies in there are real, so that is an extra bonus point to the coolness level of the situation. Then, being there with Luci just made the whole thing a thousand times more exciting, though she didn't care too much about the expo. Then seeing how she sponsored the whole thing and made it into a Christmas gift, I just about started foaming at my mouth at the situation, America. When we got to the main level after the exit, we got to record a video for Body Worlds talking about our experience, and I saw some people practicing for the day they die so their bodies will be ready to become a part of the show:

Peace on earth!

1 comment:

  1. That's pretty crazy. It'd be really weird to just be hanging out with all the dead people. I wonder if they've got empty graves for all those people in the exposition somewhere?????